Elissa Update

Sometimes life merrily skips along, you smell the roses, twirl in your skirt, and enjoy every moment.  Other times,  life throws you curve balls....and fast.  I would say that life has been throwing alot of curve balls lately.  I'm having a hard time keeping up.  Just when I think I'm in the rhythm of our new life, I get hit, right in the chest, by that darn ball.  I will say that my faith is stretched and I am learning to depend on my Lord more and more every day.   But Lord, I'm ready to be done with that for a while now.  I'd really enjoy some time to just stop, and twirl and smell roses.  Thanks.

I thought my blog might be a good way to give everyone a quick update on Elissa.  And to share my feelings, as I'm sure you've all come to know I do so well. ;0)

Monday afternoon, I had fed Elissa  bottle and set her in highchair to get her baby food ready.  She was making some small whining noises, so I went over to her, and noticed she was shaking.  Now remember it was practically 90 degrees that day, and we don't have air in our house.  My first thoughts were, "is she having a seizure?"  I know, horrible, but she was acting so weird.  I quickly pulled her from the chair and was holding her, trying to figure out what was happening.  Nick came over and said she felt warm.  Her temperature read 103.  We gave her some Tylenol, but just minutes later, she was feeling much hotter and looking very ill.  We took her temp again and it read 105.  I quickly took her to the tub, to try to cool her.  We called the phone nurse.  By now we thought perhaps she was suffering from heat exhaustion.  The phone nurse suggested we take her to the hospital.  There she was diagnosed with a Urinary Tract Infection.  They gave us an antibiotic for her and sent us home.  I was worried about Elissa's fever getting high over night, so I had her sleep with us.

The next morning, I woke up to Elissa gagging and trying to vomit.  I was thankful I had had her sleep with us, because she could have choked, had I not been there to help her sit upright.  Later that morning we took her into her pediatrician.  It just so happened that her tylenol was wearing off and the doctor was able to see how miserable she really was.  If you know my daughter, you know how extremely good natured and happy she is.  Fussy and cranky is not in her vocabulary.  Our doctor suggested we admit her to the hospital since she wasn't eating, couldn't keep her medicine down, and her fever was staying quite high.  

It has been almost 36 hours since we admitted Elissa, but it feels so long already.  I"m drained.  I want my baby home.  Nothing is worse than watching your child in pain, and wishing you could carry the load for her instead.

As of tonight, Elissa's fever still remains high.  Motrin bring it down, but when it wears off, it shoots right back up, and quickly.  They ran blood work on her yesterday and today ( and I won't even get started on the horrendous event that was.)  The ultrasound of her kidneys shows that one was slightly swollen.  We'll find out more tomorrow morning, exactly what that means, but we've heard that there will be more testing, in GR mostly likely, but exactly what and why, we're not sure.  They now call her in diagnosis, Pyelonephritis.  A kidney infection.  She is extremely fussy and irritable.   But has her good moment, although they seem so far and few between.

I'm home this evening.  Nick decided to stay the night with tonight.  I'm struggling at the moment, with feeling like I've abandoned her.  Maybe it's a mother thing, I don't know, but I feel I should be there every moment.  But I know I needed a good night sleep, I needed a shower and change of clothes, I need to see my son and spend a little time with him, I needed to get the house ready for a showing tomorrow.  But it's so hard.  My heart is there with her.  I'm so afraid something will happen while I'm gone.  I'm so afraid she'll need me, and no one else, is quite like mom.  Nick is a wonderful father, and I Elissa will be fine with him.  I just need to refuel and then I can tackle this all again tomorrow.

It's looking like the earliest, if God performs a miracle here, would be us returning home with her on Friday.  I am praying that happens.  The house feels so empty, with just Cameron and I here tonight.  It's not right. it should be the 4 of us together.

I hate hospitals.  It feels like a dungeon.   It makes me feel like I hardly breathe.  Time passes so slowly while you're in there.

But through of all this.  I'm keeping my eyes focused on God. He'll see us through.  I'm reminding myself of all of these littles blessings and helps he's been giving us since this started.  Supportive and amazing friends and family that have visited,  family that has adjusted there schedules to be watch Cameron, my sister cleaning my house and then finding out the Realtors want to so show it tomorrow (thank you Stacy), my sister-in-law works at the hospital and has been a huge help and comfort, knowing there are a whole lot of prayers warriors our there praying for Elissa and us.  Nick only started his new job a month, and doesn't have any paid vacation yet, but unbelievably his boss' are giving him time off, because they  have encountered similar situations with their children.  My list could go on, but we'll stop there for now.

Please keep your prayers coming for Elissa.  She's not out of the dark yet, but I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day for her.  It's the hardest thing I've endured as a mother.  I keep thinking of families that have a child with a continued illness, or many surgeries, I'm exhausted after just 1 day; I couldn't imagine having to do this all the time.  I have a newfound respect and compassion for parents who suffer through that.  I'm praying this is for Eissa.   That we can bring her home soon and this will all be in the past.

Thank you again, to everyone that has been praying and going out of there way for us.  What a blessing you are to us.  It is very much appreciated.