The Secret Project: Car Rug/Caddy

I don't know why I keep calling this the secret project.  I've actually been talking about it quite a bit; it's certainly no secret.  I guess I just like the stealthy and intriguing sound it gives it.  Anyway, I worked all day yesterday to create this very fun and unique car rug/caddy for Cameron.  I actually had seen the ideas and formulated my plans a few months ago, even bought the fabric.  But there it sat, and there I stared at it.  I was actually really nervous about putting this together, and I knew it would be time consuming and tedious project.  But Tuesday afternoon, Elissa had a follow up appointment at the doctors office from her hospital visit.  We waited for over an hour to see the doctor....like you usually do for a late afternoon appointment, and I could have kicked myself for not having made the car caddy yet.  It certainly would have kept Cameron occupied.  If you know my son, you know his deep love of cars, particularly hot wheels.  He carries them EVERYWHERE!!!!  When we leave the house, he'll have them stuffed in his pockets, and in his hands.  I knew this would be perfect for taking cars with us, giving him something to play on, and keeping all the cars contained, instead of rolling around the diaper bag.  I got the idea for the Car Rug/Caddy from this amazing tutorial from Homemade by Jill and then I combined this tutorial from Fiskars.

So without further ado...here is my version of the On the Go Car Caddy/Play Rug.....

There are six pockets for holding cars.

All the road and pieces are made out of felt.  I particularly love the gas station with the working hose (made from a shoelace).

It closes up so tiny, just perfect for a diaper bag, and playing on the go.  

I am most proud of my applique job on the front, with the car.  I have never ever appliquéd, and I never ever thought I would.  But now...I may be slightly addicted, and want to appliqué everything.  It will certainly take more practice, but I don't think I did too shabby for my first attempt.

And folding this thing is as easy as....

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The best part though, is how much Cameron loves it already.  Infact I didn't even officially get to "give" it to him.  He saw it on the dresser this morning, and noticed the car on the front.  He had seen me working on it yesterday, and I told him it was for him.  He grabbed up the caddy, and started saying, "thank you mom, thank you mom!"  

Another project checked off my list!

Elissa Update

Sometimes life merrily skips along, you smell the roses, twirl in your skirt, and enjoy every moment.  Other times,  life throws you curve balls....and fast.  I would say that life has been throwing alot of curve balls lately.  I'm having a hard time keeping up.  Just when I think I'm in the rhythm of our new life, I get hit, right in the chest, by that darn ball.  I will say that my faith is stretched and I am learning to depend on my Lord more and more every day.   But Lord, I'm ready to be done with that for a while now.  I'd really enjoy some time to just stop, and twirl and smell roses.  Thanks.

I thought my blog might be a good way to give everyone a quick update on Elissa.  And to share my feelings, as I'm sure you've all come to know I do so well. ;0)

Monday afternoon, I had fed Elissa  bottle and set her in highchair to get her baby food ready.  She was making some small whining noises, so I went over to her, and noticed she was shaking.  Now remember it was practically 90 degrees that day, and we don't have air in our house.  My first thoughts were, "is she having a seizure?"  I know, horrible, but she was acting so weird.  I quickly pulled her from the chair and was holding her, trying to figure out what was happening.  Nick came over and said she felt warm.  Her temperature read 103.  We gave her some Tylenol, but just minutes later, she was feeling much hotter and looking very ill.  We took her temp again and it read 105.  I quickly took her to the tub, to try to cool her.  We called the phone nurse.  By now we thought perhaps she was suffering from heat exhaustion.  The phone nurse suggested we take her to the hospital.  There she was diagnosed with a Urinary Tract Infection.  They gave us an antibiotic for her and sent us home.  I was worried about Elissa's fever getting high over night, so I had her sleep with us.

The next morning, I woke up to Elissa gagging and trying to vomit.  I was thankful I had had her sleep with us, because she could have choked, had I not been there to help her sit upright.  Later that morning we took her into her pediatrician.  It just so happened that her tylenol was wearing off and the doctor was able to see how miserable she really was.  If you know my daughter, you know how extremely good natured and happy she is.  Fussy and cranky is not in her vocabulary.  Our doctor suggested we admit her to the hospital since she wasn't eating, couldn't keep her medicine down, and her fever was staying quite high.  

It has been almost 36 hours since we admitted Elissa, but it feels so long already.  I"m drained.  I want my baby home.  Nothing is worse than watching your child in pain, and wishing you could carry the load for her instead.

As of tonight, Elissa's fever still remains high.  Motrin bring it down, but when it wears off, it shoots right back up, and quickly.  They ran blood work on her yesterday and today ( and I won't even get started on the horrendous event that was.)  The ultrasound of her kidneys shows that one was slightly swollen.  We'll find out more tomorrow morning, exactly what that means, but we've heard that there will be more testing, in GR mostly likely, but exactly what and why, we're not sure.  They now call her in diagnosis, Pyelonephritis.  A kidney infection.  She is extremely fussy and irritable.   But has her good moment, although they seem so far and few between.

I'm home this evening.  Nick decided to stay the night with tonight.  I'm struggling at the moment, with feeling like I've abandoned her.  Maybe it's a mother thing, I don't know, but I feel I should be there every moment.  But I know I needed a good night sleep, I needed a shower and change of clothes, I need to see my son and spend a little time with him, I needed to get the house ready for a showing tomorrow.  But it's so hard.  My heart is there with her.  I'm so afraid something will happen while I'm gone.  I'm so afraid she'll need me, and no one else, is quite like mom.  Nick is a wonderful father, and I Elissa will be fine with him.  I just need to refuel and then I can tackle this all again tomorrow.

It's looking like the earliest, if God performs a miracle here, would be us returning home with her on Friday.  I am praying that happens.  The house feels so empty, with just Cameron and I here tonight.  It's not right. it should be the 4 of us together.

I hate hospitals.  It feels like a dungeon.   It makes me feel like I hardly breathe.  Time passes so slowly while you're in there.

But through of all this.  I'm keeping my eyes focused on God. He'll see us through.  I'm reminding myself of all of these littles blessings and helps he's been giving us since this started.  Supportive and amazing friends and family that have visited,  family that has adjusted there schedules to be watch Cameron, my sister cleaning my house and then finding out the Realtors want to so show it tomorrow (thank you Stacy), my sister-in-law works at the hospital and has been a huge help and comfort, knowing there are a whole lot of prayers warriors our there praying for Elissa and us.  Nick only started his new job a month, and doesn't have any paid vacation yet, but unbelievably his boss' are giving him time off, because they  have encountered similar situations with their children.  My list could go on, but we'll stop there for now.

Please keep your prayers coming for Elissa.  She's not out of the dark yet, but I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day for her.  It's the hardest thing I've endured as a mother.  I keep thinking of families that have a child with a continued illness, or many surgeries, I'm exhausted after just 1 day; I couldn't imagine having to do this all the time.  I have a newfound respect and compassion for parents who suffer through that.  I'm praying this is for Eissa.   That we can bring her home soon and this will all be in the past.

Thank you again, to everyone that has been praying and going out of there way for us.  What a blessing you are to us.  It is very much appreciated.

Muffin Tin Monday

Horray it's Muffin Tin Monday over at Muffin Tin Mom.  And we're finally back in the game.  Boy did I miss doing this with Cameron.  He was doing little jumps all over the kitchen when I told him it was Muffin Tin Monday.  He was obviously thrilled, and must truly enjoy my creativity. ;)

Anyways, it's No Theme all summer.  So I'll try to get the creative juices going, and come up with some of my own themes this summer.  For today, I decided to do a  little Water/Fish theme.

So we turned our Apple juice and our yogurt blue, to represent water.   Which, Cameron thought was just about the coolest thing ever!  

Next to the yogurt we have some delicious looking tuna fish crackers with cheese.  Now, I am personally not a fan of tuna fish.  I tell my husband he can not even MAKE it if I am nearby.  The smell......{shudder}.   I don't know what came over, but I thought it would be fun to make it for Cameron, and see what he thought of tuna fish.  He didn't eat it, but I think he did pick off some of the cheese.  Silly boy.

Ofcourse, you can't have a fish themed lunch without GOLDFISH crackers.  And we have some special S'more goldfish in the cup below.  I had to pull them out, until he was finished with everything else, because he would gladly eat dessert first.

Below the tuna fish crackers we have some tasty blueberries, that were included, simply because they are blue, and I wanted a fruit in there.  But what I am most proud of, is my peanut butter and jelly sailboat sandwich.  (You didn't know I was so crafty, did you?)  

Stop by The Muffin Tin Mom to check out what others were enjoying for lunch.  

I Am Clay

Today I stood at the doorway of the church that I have attended since I was 1 year of age, the church where I heard my first Bible stories of Jesus, where I sang in my first Christmas musicals, attended VBS, had many specials friends throughout the years, grew through my strange teenage years, worked my first real job as the church secretary, married the man of my dreams in the sanctuary, worked as the Children's Ministry Director for the past 5 years, and my children were dedicated to the Lord.  I stood at that door, looked down the dark hallway, to the bright, sun filled doorway on the other end, and let the memories wash over me.  I thought maybe my children would grow up in this same church, as I had.  That they would have special memories of their years in the nursery and their teachers.  That they would hear of Jesus, and rush to me after church to tell me about how Jonah was swallowed by a big fish.  That they would sing Christmas songs to the church, that they would serve the Lord in various ministries, that they might have their first crush here, that they would find their ministry here, and maybe they would walk down the same aisle on their wedding day, like I did.

I began to let the tears fall, and I sobbed into my husbands arms.  I could hardly believe this part of my life was coming to end.  I never imagined it would end this way either.  I never imagined that when God called me to children's ministry at my home church, he would pull me away from it in a such a painful later.

I turned in my keys, took the last box of my possessions, and walked out the door.  It was certainly the hardest thing I've done in a long time.  My heart still aches at this moment.  I'm sure it will ache for a very long time.  You can't just erase 26 years of memories.  Memories that link me to my Lord and Savior.  I'll never understand it all.  I'll never understand why He made it run this course.  But it's time to move forward, time to heal.

Tomorrow morning my family will begin looking for a new church, a new place to belong, a new place to serve and minister with other fellow Christians.  And I am praying that God will direct us to a place where will have friendships and love.  A place where I can heal......

You may have been wondering where I've been these past few months.  Honestly,.....I've been in a dark place.  A rather scary place that I don't care to return to ever.  A place where I doubted if God really heard my prayers.  A place where I suspected that He had abandoned me.  That He had no plans for me.  That perhaps He really didn't love me.  That maybe I was not deserving enough to receive His blessings. That maybe I had done something terribly wrong, and I was being punished.  If it hadn't been for my knowledge of the Bible that has been deeply embedded in me from church and a Christian education, I may have walked away.  But even though my heart felt nothing, my head knew better.  And I am thankful everyday for the many prayers that I know were being sent upon my behalf.

You see, my life went from "not good" to "surviving" to "unbelievable" to "I can't believe this is happening" and now I am here, smiling again....finally.  Just over 11 months ago, my husband came home and told me with tear filled eyes that he had been laid off.  Welcome to MI, join the millions of others that are in the same boat!   But that doesn't make it any easier.  I was pregnant at the time with our 2nd child, Elissa, and thoughts of hospital bills and baby gear and clothes along with regular mortgage and bill payments started swarming in my head.  How does a family survive on unemployment.  Thankfully Jesus heard our desperate cries and Nick was employed after 2 months with a temporary job.  The stress level was manageable and we diligently prayed and I believed whole heartedly that God would have something ready for him when the temp job ended.  Elissa arrived a few months later, and I thought I was in Heaven. I was so happy and our family felt so complete.  Christmas passed and we prepared for the temp job to end, with nothing in the works yet for a real job.  But, by God's amazing power, they continued his job for another month and a half!  I was beyond grateful, but by now, the reality had set in that there was no REAL job coming any time soon.  My stress level was reaching a new all time high. I found it hard to sleep at night.  I had no idea what our future would be like? Then it got worse.  The week that my husband's temp job ended and he was unemployed again, was the same week that my part time job came to an end.  The night they let me go, I prayed that God would come, that this life would just end.  All the cards were stacked up against me, and I had no moves left.

The next 2 1/2 months I worked at my part time job, but hardly anyone would speak to me.  I felt so frustrated and hurt.  I would look at them, and think, "You have no idea how badly I'm hurting.  All I want is for you to come up to me and talk to me.  To say you care, that you're sorry this happening, that you've appreciated everything I've worked so hard at the past 5 years."  But they didn't.  On my last day as the children's minister, only 3 people told me "thank you for your ministry".  That was it, out of a whole church, 3 people.  When I need someone to throw me a line, more than any other time in my life, they left me to sink.   A person can only tread water for so long, and my time had long passed.

In these 2 1/2 months that I battled the war of sadness and pain in my heart for my church, another war was brewing, between me and my God.  I gave up on praying to him to save us from this situation.  I spent my every breath yelling at Him and blaming Him for failing me.    I was a horrible wife and mother.  I was just a dark hole, waiting to be swallowed up.  I've never cried so many tears in my life.  I felt unbearably lost.  This isn't what I had imagined my life would be like.  This isn't who I wanted to be.  How could God possibly let both me and my husband lose our jobs, when we have 2 small children to care for?  And why does no one else in this world give a hoot?  And then.....

Wisconsin called.   They wanted to interview Nick.  He went through rigorous testing.  They only wanted the smartest and the brightest.  They called for us to come.  We went and visited their beautiful state, with their green farmland and rolling hills.  They lured our interest with their high paying jobs and family friendly cities.  They baited us with incomparable benefits and free vacations.  Someone pinch  me, please, this place is unreal.  My husband wanted the job, badly.  It was an exciting, well paying job.  But it was so. far. away.

Thoughts of Christmas  and birthdays alone, with no family, no grandparents to witness first Christmas pageants, or T ball games, or dance recitals.  No aunts or uncles to come for spontaneous play visits of cars and horse-back rides.  No friends to chat with over ice cream and play games with.  It would all come to end.    I knew the next year ahead of me would be full of changes and challenges and more crying and heart ache.  I felt like I was literally losing every bit of sanity I was so preciously clinging to by this point.  How was I supposed to tell my husband, "No, we can't go."  when I knew how badly he wanted this job.  Thank the Lord another job offer arrived at the same time, for a company right here in our hometown.  My self-sacrificing husband could see that I was hanging by a mere thread and graciously and lovingly declined the WI job.  I'll never be able to show that much love back to him.  It was huge, and it filled my heart to overflowing. I danced for a week straight.  

The week my job at our church ended my husband began his new job, here, in town.  Why did I ever doubt my God?  Hasn't He always shown me that He provides.  Lesson learned.  I'm so sorry Lord.  Slowly I see the ways that you are turning these lemons into lemonade.

So that is where I have been.  I have been struggling to find a breath, to find a light.   I thank all of my friends that have stuck with us, even when I got a little ugly.  They held on tighter and prayed that much harder.  They are true friends.  They mourned with us and they celebrated with us.   I'm so thankful God placed these people in our lives.

So tomorrow I begin a new journey.  I call this a time of healing for me.  I feel as though I've been dragged through the mud and beaten a few times over this past year.   I am anxious to take this road, and become a new person.

I was thinking yesterday of a silly analogy.  I'll share it with you, just for kicks.  When I sew, I take a piece of fabric and cut shapes and pieces.  This fabric could say, "oh no, look at me.  I'm all cut up and good for nothing."  But little does that fabric know that I am about to create something with it.  I am about to make it into something useful.  It will serve a purpose after this.   My life is much like that fabric.  I screamed and yelled and threw my pity parties, while God was cutting up the pieces of my neatly organized little life.  But He has turned on the sewing machine, and the stitches are being made.  I can't wait to see what He creates of me next.

You are the potter
I am the clay
Mold me and make me 
This is what I pray 

Change my heart oh God
Make it ever true 
Change my heart oh God
May I be like You

Muffin Tin Monday

Today is Muffin Tin Monday!  Whoohoo!  And we're still in color themes.  This week is Blue/Purple foods.
I didn't actually plan at all for this one, and just rummaged around in the kitchen for something that would work.  So here you are...

We had Peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches, Yogurt turned blue, with food coloring (this was really exciting to Cameron), and purple grapes.  The grapes didn't get eaten (sad),  this used to be a favorite food.  And ofcourse I was thrilled to use my cute little blue muffin tins.

Next week is No Theme, so that always makes it easier!  Cameron still gets really excited when I tell him it Muffin Tin lunch day.   Hope you have a happy BLUE and PURPLE lunch.

Gotta love that cute little blue and purple face!
Be sure to stop by Muffin Tin Mom to see what everyone else ate that was blue and purple.

Change

The end of February brought a tremendous amount of snow to our lovely state.  So on a Saturday, while I was busy working, Nick and Cameron headed outside to play in the snow.   A while later I looked out the window to see that they had been busy, building a snowman.  Cameron's first snowman.  "Mine Snowman", he says.  

But then, as soon as the calendar changed to March, it started to warm up.  We've enjoyed lovely sunshine and warmer temperatures.  But it's not been so good for our snowman.

Here's what was left of Cameron's snowman at the beginning of the week.  As of yesterday, it's completely gone.  There's not much left of the snow anywhere now.  There's only mud, dry, dead grass, naked trees and salt smeared roads.  It all happened so quickly; the change.

We changed from Winter to Spring so quickly.  And now Winter almost feels like a distant memory.  I'm anxious for the days we'll spend playing outside, light spring jackets, rainstorms, and flowers.  All signs of springtime.

There is a lot of change heading down the road of my life.  If I try to sit and contemplate on it all at once, it feels overwhelming and insurmountable.  Some of the changes have already been conquered, and others are left unsaid.  Some change is good, like the birth of my daughter, and other change is difficult and sad.  But I trust that my heavenly Father will see me through all of these changes.  Just like He melts the snow and brings up tulips and buds on the trees.  I know that He will bring me into a new season of life, and it will be just as wonderful as the last.

Butterflies = Spring

Check out the West Michigan Mommy blog to enter for your chance to win tickets the Frederik Meijer Butterfly Garden.  I know my family is hoping win these tickets! 

Cameron was just 2 months old the first time he went (I think he slept through the whole thing).  I can't wait to take him, now 2 years old.  It's so neat to see your children experience something new.  Maybe Elissa will be awake for some of it too.  Happy Spring and good luck to all who enter in the giveaway!

What I Love About You - 4 Months

I can hardly believe that you are 4 months old already, Elissa.  You're my little pumpkin (since you were born in the fall).  Even though it seems I'm still learning to adjust to life with 2 children and all the chaos that creates, I can't imagine life without you anymore.  I love having you as a part of our family.  You bring us double the joy.

~ I love your big happy grin that you give me, just because you spotted me.  I love even more, the happy little giggle I get when I start talking to you.

~the way you chatter and gurgle.  Like you're really trying to having 'girl talk' with me.  It makes me excited to think about all the 'girl talks' we will have.  And hopefully shopping trips too. 

~I love that I can do a whole load of 'pink' and when I empty the lint trap on the dyer, it's all pink.  It always makes me smile.  I love to dress you up all girly.

~your bright and beautiful eyes.  And how they get so BIG when you're excited.

~And who couldn't love those cheeks.  Now I know why old ladies love to pinch cheeks.  But I just love to kiss yours.

~I love the way you bounce around in your jumperoo.  You are so free and happy in there.  I call it 'your happy place'.  You love to bounce in there as much as your brother did.

~the way that I can put a bow or clippy in the top of your hair, even though you're bald all around the rest of your head, from rubbing your head.

~I was so excited to put your hair in a little ponytail.   It was so adorable and you didn't seem to mind at all.  It's so cute just sticking straight up.

~ I love your large assortment of bibs.  I'm sure we wear at least 5 a day and 3 clothing changes a day right now.  You drool and spit up SOOOOO much.  But I know it means teeth are on their way.

~I love how strong you are becoming.  You love to sit up.  If we try to lay you back, or I place you in bouncy seat, you try to do a baby sit up and sit yourself upright.  I'm sure you'll be sitting up long before you start rolling.  You are similar to your brother in  your development.  

~I love how you can grasp all your toys now.  It makes play time so much more intriguing for you.

~how you hold your bottle.  It's one of my favorite times, snuggling and feeding you. 

~You are getting so much better at tummy-time these days.  It still doesn't last long, but you're doing great, holding you're head up at a 90 degree angle now.

~I love the ruffles on the butt of your pants.

~I LOVE the way you poke your bottom lip out and pout right before you start to cry.  Apparently you inherited this little trait from me.  And I can't help but laugh every time you do.  It's so cute. 

~You love to pull the little butterfly doll on changing table down, onto your tummy when I'm changing you.

~And I love how much you love your daddy.

See what other mothers love about there little ones by clicking the button below.

Muffin Tin Monday - Yellow

I got the coolest Muffin Tins!  I'm so excited.  I just happened to be visiting our Jo-Ann fabrics when they were having a big sale on Wilton Cake supplies.  I grabbed up a a bunch of the cute little muffin cups I've been drooling over in everyone else's blogs.  Today I got a chance to use our super cute yellow, flower muffin tins.  Because it felt like a sunny spring day in the morning and today's theme is the color YELLOW.

 

In these adorable little cups are Stick crackers, string cheese cut into bite sizes, peaches, a yellow bell pepper cut, and pineapple chunks.  In the very center of our little yellow flower is some Ranch dressing for dipping.  

I would have never thought to offer Cameron a pepper (I don't even like peppers).  But I just so happened to be browsing for yellow foods at the grocery store and was feeling adventurous.

 

 Cameron gobbled up the cheese, cracker sticks, and peaches.  But he wouldn't even grace the peppers or the pineapple with his spoon.  What a shame, I love pineapple. Yum.

So what did you have for lunch?  See what everyone else had at Muffin Tin Mom.

Tot School - Farm Animals

~Cameron is currently 25 months old~

For our first official Tot School I grabbed some materials from my supply boxes.  And it just so happened to be all farm animal related.  So we went with it.  Cameron is having an absolute BLAST doing Tot School.  He loves the time focused on just him, and is really soaking up all the learning and new things we're trying out.  I'm having a blast too.  I'm introducing a wide variety of activities to him to evaluate his skills and abilities.  

 Here's a picture of Cameron matching up baby and mommy animals.  He did fantastic at this, and made the correct animal noises for most of the animals.   Although he tends to get cow and horse confused sometimes.

 

I am a big fan of sign language.  Cameron learned some basic communication words when he was around 9 months old, which made expressing his needs much easier.  I have these great sign language cards that I purchased a year ago.  I pulled out some animals to go along with our theme for the week.  We ended up only learning horse, cow, pig and duck, because Cameron was losing interest.

 

I pulled out my felt board and a felt story that I had made back in my college days.  Cameron adored this.  The story we did was Cock-a-Moo Moo.  Cameron loved to put all the pieces up on the board as I told the story.  We also reviewed the names and noises of each animal.   I think he really enjoyed the tactile experience of this.  I'll definitely be creating more felt board stories and activities for us.

As part of our little "circle time", I decided to introduce some songs.  Now Cameron has never appreciated my singing.  As a baby, he cried louder when I tried to sing to him (sheesh, I didn't know my voice was that bad).  And as a 1 year old, he never seemed interested at all when I played music or sang.  So I was curious to see how he would do with music now.   He seems to "Bebop" around when he hears music on the radio or TV these days.  I started out teaching him The Itsy Bitsy Spider.  He loved it.  He attempted to sing with me a little, and did all the motions.  I was so tickled.  It was definitely the highlight of the week for me.  We also sang, If You're Happy and You Know It as well as Old McDonald Had a Farm.  I can't wait to teach him more songs now.

-

I scored these awesome books on clearance at our Wal-mart the other day.  They are Kumon Let's Sticker and Paste, Let's Cut Paper and Let's Color!  As much as I love homemade items, I was excited to find a more curriculum-like book.

 

 We tried out a page from the Kumon Let's Color book.  Cameron was supposed to color "ketchup" on the omelet on this page.  I was impressed by how well he did at staying inside the "omelet" area.  I am also extremely surprised by how he correctly holds his writing utensils already.  I've noticed that he grasps his crayons correctly, in the past, but always thought maybe it was a fluke.  Hopefully he doesn't lose this skill.

 

I am really noticing that Cameron has some fantastic fine motor skills.  I asked him to lace his beads and he did every. single. bead.  Here he is holding them all up for me.  I was so proud, and so was he.  I loved how hard he concentrated on this activity.

 

My solution for keeping the beads from slipping off the end of the string is to put a clothes pin on the end.  At first Cameron wanted to take it off, but quickly realized that without it, the beads would fall off.

 

We also did a dinosaur foam sticker activity (I know, it doesn't go with my farm animal theme).

He spotted this container of dinosaurs that I found at the dollar store, and was so anxious to get them out.  He REALLY loves stickers.  Unfortunately the backs were hard for him to get off by himself.  

I've been rummaging through all my old college school supplies.  I just found the box last week, and was delighted by all the goodies I forgot I had made in my Early Childhood Education classes.  I'm still working at getting everything organized and sorted.  Next week, we will be doing Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See.  I love this book and so does Cameron.  I'm so excited, because I have a lot of neat things planned.

Tiny Tots

Elissa is four months old now.  I can hardly believe it.  She is finally getting a bit happier with tummy time.   She's doing really well holding her head up at a 90 degree angle.  And she loves to grab at the toys that she wants now.  And of course, everything goes in the mouth.  If it's not a toy (as you can see she's trying to stuff the entire thing in her mouth here), then it's her hands.  I'm sure it will be a while before she's even interested in working on rolling over (just like Cameron did). 

 

What Elissa really loves to do is SIT.  If you try to lay her back, she does what I call a "baby sit-up".  Here she is exploring and grabbing some of her toys in he Bumbo seat.   

Click here to check out some great Tot School ideas and see what other moms and tots are doing during Tot School time.

Adventures in MommyLand - Good Behavior Charts

I think I'll start something new today.  I'm a mom and I love to glean wisdom from other mothers.  I love to read other mom blogs.  They're so smart, and I'm so thankful they share their ideas.  It inspires me.  So I too want to contribute to the mommy world of smart ideas, because you never know who you might help.  So begins my Adventures in MommyLand.  I hope you might find some inspiring ideas for your life here.

For my first Adventures in MommyLand post I thought I would share my newest idea.  It's still in trial, but seems to be going well.  You may have read other posts about my son, and how hard it has been for me to win the battle of control with him.  But I assure you, he is a sweet boy full of love and joy.  It's not all his fault.  He has a 4 month old sister, and adjusting to sharing his parents, home and toys is part of the rocky road.  I have noticed that a majority of the time his bad behavior starts when I'm feeding, changing or rocking Elissa.  I do my best to give Cameron every spare second I have, but it never seems to be enough.  I've come to the conclusion he is just going to have to get used to not being the center of the universe any longer.  In the meantime, time outs, whining, spankings, hitting, throwing and screaming are really starting to wear me down.  I constantly search for new ideas in the discipline department that will make an impact on this strong willed little boy.  I'm going to try focusing on his good behavior and praising him ALOT.  So we started something new yesterday; the Good Behavior Chart.

 

Cameron has a deep love for stickers.  He will sometimes do almost anything for a beloved sticker.  And I love that he loves stickers.  Although, he won't keep a sticker on his shirt.  He insists on carrying it around in his hand, and I have caught him twice now, attempting to place the sticker on the wall.  Not to mention, eventually the dog finds the sticker, and that makes Cameron very upset when she eats it.   So I found these great little incentive charts for him to place his stickers on.  Everytime he has good behavior like, playing nicely, doing what he told without arguing, etc, we put a sticker on the chart. Once his chart is full we'll make a special trip to the store to buy a Hot Wheel car.  You can do any small gift that you want, but Cameron adores little cars, and I adore that they are under a dollar.   He is loving it so far.  I really like how these charts are small.  I think that helps younger kids reach the goal sooner and helps them see how the reward relates to their behavior.  

Here's the incentive charts and stickers I purchased at our local teacher resource store. $5 total for both items, and so far it seems to be well worth it.

I Miss my Baby

Yesterday was rough mommy day.  I think Cameron was intentionally looking for things to get into that he knew he wasn't allowed to have.  Every 3 minutes or so I was having to get after him.  It made for a very long day.  I was ready to escape as soon as my husband arrived home from work.   He gladly took Cameron and I took Elissa (the easy one at the moment) and headed to a few stores to run some errands I had been trying to get at for about a week.  On my way home, in the quiet of the van, I began to think about Cameron, my two year old, the little boy who wears me out and has my head spinning in circles.  I love him so dearly, and it's so exciting to watch him growing and learning.  But boy oh boy, if someone had really, truly warned about the terrible two's, I may have been tempted to forgo having children.  Okay, okay, maybe not really, but the thought has crossed my mind on those wild and hairy days.

Cameron was definitely not an 'easy' baby.  He had his fair share and then some, of crying, mostly due to acid reflux.  But we survived the baby stage and progressed into toddler-hood.   But I dearly regret wishing away his baby days.  I was always so excited to see what he would be doing next, what new milestone would he achieve and when.  I often found myself saying, "I can't wait until he does ________", or "It'll be so much easier when can ___________."  I never really just enjoyed the stage he was in.  I told myself when I was pregnant for Elissa that I would refrain from doing this.  That I would cherish every moment, because in hindsight, I can see that it quickly passes.  And you can't go back.  You don't get to experience that time again.

As the trees were passing me on the streets, I drifted back to the time when Cameron was about Elissa's age, nearly 4 months old.  Pictures started flashing through my mind.  I was thinking about all the big milestones that Elissa is nearing, sitting up on her own, rolling over, first foods, and I couldn't help but think back to when Cameron did all these things.  And I started to remember how he smelled after his bath, how he would smile that big open mouth smile.  I remembered how we tried so hard to get him to laugh, and I finally achieved success by blowing on the bottoms of his pudgy little feet.  I remember nights of rocking him to sleep, how he would snuggle in.  How he breathed as he slept.  How his little face relaxed and he looked so peaceful.  I suddenly missed everything about Cameron being a baby.  I wanted those moments back, I could hardly breathe for a moment.  I wanted to hold and snuggle him like that again.

I miss my baby today.  I know it seems strange.  But that time comes and goes so quickly, and you can never go back.  But I'll remember that for right now too.  Someday, I'll look back at his toddler pictures and I'll miss this time immensely.  I'll miss the way he says his words, how he runs and plays.  The way he laughs.  How he always carries his cars around the house and leaves them out for me to trip on.  The way he snuggles in for story time.  His big kisses and hugs, and his forgiveness.  I'll miss it all, and I won't be able to come back to this.  And I know that all the hard parts will be a distant memory that I won't even be able to dig up....just like it was when he was a baby.

Muffin Tin Monday

Today the sun is shining, I have my front door open to let in all the light, and it's Monday Tin Monday.  It's no theme today, and that's probably a good thing.  My refrigerator and cupboards are bare.  I attempted to go grocery shopping multiples times last week, but I didn't even have a car until Thursday.  My husband was busy working on his car every night of the week.  So Friday I finally packed up the kids and headed for Meijer.  This only happens if I absolutely HAVE to.  It is so hard to keep one kid happy in the store while you shop for groceries, but 2....good luck.  I won't go into detail, but I can assure you, it was gruesome.  Needless to say, we didn't leave the store with much of anything.  So, there's my sorry excuse for my lousy muffin tin lunch today.  It's definitely not stellar, but at least it's something.  We did at least pick up a nice 6 cup muffin tin for the lunches.

 

Top, from left to right: strawberry yogurt, raisins, and S'more goldfish

Bottom, left to right: Colby jack cheese and  corn tortilla kabobs, Cheese curls, and then more of the kabobs.

The cheese and tortilla kabobs did not work well for Cameron's age (25 months).  He couldn't figure out how to get the stuff of the toothpick.  I ended up having to take it all off for him, but it definitely peeked his curiosity.  

P.S.  I think daddy is slightly jealous of Cameron's fun Muffin Tin lunches. 

Head over to Muffin Tin Mom to see what other mothers are doing for Muffin tin lunches.  Next week is back to the color series theme, and the color is Yellow. Yum!

Catch Up Day

I've learned something about myself lately.
I try to carry others burdens.
I wondered why my back seemed so sore lately.
I've been trying to haul around, on my back, everyone else's problems, worries, fears and sorrows.  And then, there's my own burdens.  What a heavy load to bear.  I suppose it's just part of my personality.  Feeling like I could in some way, help or lessen the pain if I attempt to carry the pain for them.  Perhaps I am trying to shove my own burdens aside, by focusing on someone else.  I yearn to empathize with them.  No wonder I've felt so weighted down lately.  No wonder I've barely managed to crawl through my days.

When I say the word burden I immediately think of the book Pilgrim's Progress.  Perhaps you are familiar with it.  And if you're not, I highly recommend reading it.  It's the story of a boys journey to God, to heaven.  And it parallels with our christian walk with the Lord.  It's been many years since I've read it, since 3rd grade to be exact.  We did many projects along with the book in school.  But this one picture always sticks out in my head.  It's a picture of the boy, Christian, struggling to make his way to the cross, to the Savior.  Throughout his entire journey he carries this heavy backpack on his back.  We learn that it is his burdens.  I forget exactly where along the journey it is, but he finally shreds the heavy weight from his back.  He is FREE!
And that's exactly what I am doing today.  I am tossing that heavy backpack of burdens off of my shoulders.  I surrender it to the Lord to carry for me.  And if I attempt to take it back, may I quickly be reminded that there is no need for me to lung that thing around, when my strong and mighty Father is more than willing to carry it for me.

So, today is all about catching up on the things I've let slip by while I've been distracted.  All the things I've been wanting to do, but have been too busy to, while trying to carry everyone's weight.

 

We took a little time to take in the breathtaking beauty of the snow this morning.  I get sick of the snow and cold just as much as the next person, but how can you not revel in the magnificence of the big, soft flakes falling from the sky, clinging to the branches of every tree and bush.

It was a picture perfect postcard kind of snow.

While Elissa napped, Cameron and I finally had an opportunity to do a little Tot School.  I've been gathering supplies and anxious to start this special time with him.  He loved it.  He seems so eager to learn and explore right now.  We worked on a skills puzzle for a while.  

And then we played with a peg set.  This will quickly become a favorite toy of ours.  It's so open-ended and has many teachable qualities to it.  First he stacked them up high.  He was so proud.  Then we sorted them into colors.  And I asked him to place specific colors into the peg board.  Lots of fun!

And last but not least, we had a Muffin Tin lunch.  I was supposed to do this on Monday, but hey, better late than never.  Muffin Tin Mondays are a fun way to have a meal, that are sometimes themed.  You can find out more for yourself by stopping by Muffin Tin Mom.  Monday's theme was the color orange.  We had Hi-C orange juice, ravioli, crackers with cheese and an orange.  Cameron ate the crackers and drank the juice, but refused to touch anything else.  He is a very picky eater.  Muffin Tin Mondays will help me continually offer new foods to Cameron.  I tend to get in a bit of a rut with him, since there doesn't seem to be much he'll eat.  But you never know when he might decide to try something new.   And I definitely need to find some new and creative muffin tins.  All I had handy was this cumbersome 12 holer.

Have a blessed and burden free day!

In My Solitude - One Thousand Gifts

I've been eager to seek this solitude today.  Everything seems so chaotic and jumbled.  From the children's off-kilter schedules, the messy house that seems to dirty itself the moment I clean it, to life's bigger issues, like jobs and love.


And so I continue my journey of one thousand gifts.  I'm sure I won't be able to stop there.  I've been finding myself making lists in my head all week long, eager to share what I am noticing the Lord has given.   I have learned that blessings are not the big things in life, like a large house, wealth, careers and so on.  No, it's the smallest of details that bring a smile to our lips, a skip in our hearts, and sigh in our voice.

18. Little boys who smell of peanut butter, cheerios and apple juice

19. Snow falling softly and quietly in the street lamps light

20. Little baby pouty lips

21. Grandmothers who adore there little grandchildren, and are content to hold and cuddle them

22.  Little boys rushing hurriedly to greet there 'papa'

23. Hearing your son lovingly exclaim "I love you, Daddy" for the very first time and watching as your husband's eyes glisten with tears of love.

24. The stories and secrets we share with our eyes, as I feed and snuggle my daughter

25. Long, tight embraces shared with my love, as all understanding passes between us

26. Being stolen away for a quick evening of romance

27. How mommy kisses make 'Boo boos' all better

28. Glowing fireplaces that warm deep through the skin

29. Brides in white, wedding dresses that remind you fairy tales can true.

30. And soft, wet kisses from sleepy little boys as he slips off to bed

31. Sunlight filtering into the house from every window, and filling my soul with song

God's Love - Full Circle

Saturday, I attended a wedding.
A beautiful wedding.
But it was more than just a wedding.
It was a picture, to me, of God's love coming around full circle.
There is a song by Casting Crowns called, 'Praise You in This Storm' and part of the lyrics say, "And praise the God who gives and takes away."  That's exactly what this wedding reminded me of.  God gives and takes away and He gives and takes away.  We can watch His love make a full circle around us.

I have been to my cousin's church three times.  The first was to witness the wedding ceremony of my cousin to her first husband.   It was beautiful then too.  I remember she decorated with red roses.  I was only in high school then, and I was envious of the love they shared.

The second time I was at that church was to cry along with her as we buried her husband.  It was two and a half years ago.  He had been killed in a motorcycle accident.  He left behind a son, who I believe was about 4 and a 6 month old daughter.  My heart ached for my cousin as I thought of her trying to raise these two children alone.  I wondered how God could take such a good man, a loving husband and father.  But her bravery amazed me.  I always prayed that the Lord would bring someone special along for her to love and be loved by again.  And He did.

Yesterday, we rejoiced with her at the same church, as she married again.  A new man, a completely different man, but a loving and caring man.  But in the back of my throat, I had to swallow down the lump, that kept trying to creep up.  I couldn't stop thinking of the pain she had been through.  How her heart must have ached these past years.  But now...to be filled up again.  And all because the Lord's love had come full circle.  See, the Lord may bring the rain, and the thunder may roll for a time in your life.  But it never rains forever.  There's always a sunny day on the horizon, full of new opportunities, adventures and love.

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
            ~Isaiah 40:31

A Thousand Gifts

This morning, amidst broken hearts and broken dreams, I searched here, on the blogs, for a distraction from my pain.  I knew I should turn my heart toward Jesus.   But with our "quiet time" hours away and children being rather noisy, I thought I could at least find something to turn my mind to until then.  I immediately stumbled upon another writer who was taking on the 1000 Gifts challenge.   I did a little looking, and I knew this was the distraction that my heart needed.   Instead of attempting to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and trying to bear the pain for my loved ones, I knew I should be finding joy and thankfulness in the little blessings and grace that God gives me everyday. 

You have recorded my troubles.
You have kept a list of my tears.
Aren't they in your records?

~Ps. 56:8

Ann Voskamp from Holy Experience posted this this morning "If God makes a list of my laments, I will make a list of God's love.  If God has a list of my pain, I will make a list of my praise.  If God writes a list of my tears, I will write a list of my thanks."  I was so touched at the thought that my marvelous creator could possibly take the time to record my grief.  That He cares that much for ME.  And because he cares that much for me, I will praise His name through all the endless gifts that He gives to me each new day.

So here, I begin my quiet hour with the Lord, by publicly making known to everyone, the thousands of gifts He has given me.

1. the forgiving and abundant love of my Savior.  And the gift of Heaven I have received by accepting His love.

2. a loving husband who loves in the good times and the bad.  Who loves with his whole heart.   Who is compassionate, kind and thoughtful.  Who loves me in spite of my flaws.

3. for my two children.  When I look at them I am so amazed at the miracle of life.  That God created them in my womb.  That they are piece of my husband and I.  That God has plans for them.

4. a warm home on these cold and dreary winter days.

5.  for my health.

6. Sleep.  I don't always get alot of it at this time in my life.  But this morning the children all stayed in bed and quiet until 10 minutes past 6 today.  I was so very grateful.

7.  Warm showers that cleanse and clear my senses.

8.  Soft beds that I can crawl under the sheets and drift away to slumber as another day comes to an end.

9.  for family that is always there.

10.  for aunts that love my children and babysit and play choo choo trians and give piggy back rides

11. for uncles that stop by and give little boys attention by putting together puzzles.

12. coffee that keeps me going on sleepy days, and tastes like white chocolate mochas.

13.  friends that are supportive and pray.

14.  sweet smelling babies

15.  little boys with messy hair after naps.

16.  Special valentine traditions that I can begin with my own little family now.

 

17. Anda  husband that has 2 dozen roses delivered to your door.

The list can go on.  I'm finding it so easy to be thankful for so much.  Those small moments and things that can be so easily overlooked.  I look forward to working toward my thousand every Monday morning.  What a perfect way to start off my week; praising my Lord.